When you are creating an estate plan, you are most likely going to take steps within that plan to provide for your loved ones. You may leave an inheritance to your spouse, children, or others who you are close to. The decisions you make are yours alone, and you have the right to control what happens to the money and property that you worked hard for.

During the planning process, though, you are going to need to decide how much information to share with your family and how involved your loved ones should be in making decisions about things like asset distribution and the kinds of medical care that you will accept and deny if you become incapacitated. There are pros and cons of getting input from your loved ones, or at least discussing your decisions with them, but you’ll need to think carefully about what makes sense for your situation.
Sharing details about your plans with your loved ones could have some big benefits
Estate planning is very personal, but you may feel like you want or need to discuss your plans and desires with your loved ones. This could be helpful for a number of reasons.
First and foremost, you can explain some of your choices to your family members so they are less likely to question them or be upset by them later. For example, if you are dividing your inheritance in a certain way, you may want to talk to your family about why you’ve made those choices so those who may not get as large of a share will understand your reasoning.
You may also want input from your family on some issues. For example, you may want to know what kinds of things each person wants to inherit. There’s little sense in leaving your jewelry to one child and your furniture to another if they’d prefer the opposite arrangement. By giving your family members a chance to share their preferences, you can help those you leave behind to remember you in the ways that they find most meaningful.
Telling your family about your plans can also maximize the chances your wishes will be enforced. For one thing, your loved ones will know what kinds of documents you have put in place and how to find them. They’ll know what assets you have and where those are so nothing falls into the cracks. They’ll also understand your reasoning if you discuss it with them so they are less likely to do things like trying to contest your will after you are gone.
All of these benefits may be reason enough to enlighten those you care about on at least some aspects of the estate plan that you are creating.
There are also some potential downsides to providing too much detail to your loved ones
While there are key benefits to being open, you can’t forget about potential disadvantages when deciding on what details to provide to your family.
Specifically, while sharing key information about your plans gives you the chance to explain your decisions to your family, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your explanation will be well-received.
The fact is that those whom you are leaving behind may have different expectations of what is likely to happen than what you’re planning in reality. This is made clear by the fact that a Northwestern Mutual study found that 32% of millennials expect to receive an inheritance and 3% have already received one. But, the same study also showed that only 22% of Gen Xers and 22% of baby boomers actually plan to leave an inheritance or financial gift when they pass away. The math doesn’t add up. Some Baby Boomers and GenXers want to do other things with their money, but their heirs expect they will inherit it.
If you aren’t planning on providing the inheritance that your family members are anticipating will come from you, this could create big problems if you discuss this with them and they aren’t happy. It could jeopardize your relationship during the remainder of your life. Or you could find yourself with your loved ones pressuring you to make decisions about the distribution of your assets that are different from what you want.
Issues like this don’t just arise with financial gifts and property distribution either. If you make a living will or otherwise create an advanced plan for healthcare and your loved ones don’t agree with the kind of care you’ve chosen to accept or deny, they could end up running a pressure campaign in order to get you to change your mind.
Ultimately, only you can decide how your loved ones are likely to react if you share your estate plans with them. If you are confident they will be supportive, there’s really no downside to providing details in advance of your death. This gives your loved ones time to ask questions and to make sure they honor your wishes. If, on the other hand, you believe things could get ugly if you share your proposed arrangements, then you may not want to jump into the fray — unless you feel you could really sway people’s opinions by doing so.
Your estate planning lawyer can help you to decide what level of involvement your family should have, what details you want to share with them, and what your rights are. With help from an experienced estate planning firm in Jacksonville and the surrounding areas of northeast Florida, you can put a solid plan in place that accomplishes whatever your objectives may be — and hopefully your loved ones will support your desires.
The Edwards Law Firm is here and ready to help with all of your estate planning needs. Just give our qualified estate planning lawyers a call today at 904.672.7600 or contact us online to learn more.
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